Discernment Counseling

Are you or your partner talking about divorce or separation, but feeling uncertain about this decision? If your relationship is stuck in this difficult limbo, you might consider Discernment Counseling, a brief protocol designed for couples like you.

Discernment Counseling is not the same as couples therapy; it’s a brief, new, and unique way of helping couples get unstuck when one partner is “leaning out” of the relationship (and skeptical that couples therapy would make a difference), and the other partner is “leaning in”, hopeful that the marriage can be saved (and open to couples therapy).

Goals

The main goals of Discernment Counseling are:

To see if your problems are solvable (NOT to solve them at this point)
To deepen your understanding of the relationhip
To increase awareness of one’s own contribution to the problems and how they could contribute to potential solutions (*this will help you in future relationships, even if this one ultimately ends)
To help you feel clear and confident about YOUR right path forward

As a trained Discernment Counselor, I will work with you and your partner together and individually in each session. There are no good guys or bad guys in this process – I may challenge you at times, but I will treat you both with non-judgement, compassion, and respect.

By following this protocol, I can help you feel clearer, more at peace with, and better prepared to embark on the path you choose: try to heal the marriage, move toward divorce (or separation), or take more time (e.g. to reflect on what Discernment Counseling has laid bare) and decide later.

What to Expect:

Discernment Counseling takes place over 1-5 sessions. At the end of each session, you decide if you want to schedule another one. The first session is usually 2 hours and the subsequent sessions are 1.5 to 2 hours. (*If you can only commit to 60-minute sessions, plan on 4-7 sessions total). Sessions are structured as couple time, individual conversation with each partner plus summaries, followed by more couple time.